Spoons and Forks: Chronic Illness
The "spoon theory" is a metaphor often used to explain the limited energy and resources experienced by individuals with chronic illnesses or disabilities. It was introduced by Christine Miserandino in 2003, who used it to describe her experience living with lupus. Reminder that these are “theories” as an attempt to explain to others how managing illnesses can take it’s toll.
In the spoon theory, "spoons" represent units of energy or capacity to perform activities throughout the day. Everyday you wake up with a number of spoons to pay for activities. These spoons cannot be regained throughout the day. A physically healthy person will wake up with more spoons than someone with a chronic illness.
Let’s suppose a healthy person wakes up with 200 spoons, and someone afflicted by chronic illness (chronic back pain, fibromyalgia, migraines or headaches, lupus, chronic fatigue, MS) wakes up with 100 spoons. What do daily activities cost?
This list doesn’t take into consideration about returning home and having to do housework or managing children. It’s a simple list, for a single person that has more autonomy than someone that is married with children. The daily activities only cost 134 spoons. For the person that starts with 200, they have 66 to spare. This means that they have the capacity to do more, if they require or desire to. But the individual experiencing chronic pain or illness is at a deficit. They weren’t able to do all of these activities.
What can those individuals skip to make their day more manageable?
They can’t avoid getting up (3) or working (80) and need to eat (21) and sleep (2). Well, shit. That still causes a deficit. Let’s eat something simple, some toast for breakfast and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner. Low effort, let’s reduce that to 10 spoons for eating. That’s 95 spoons, 5 to spare. Take a shower at night, or maybe it would be easier to spend 3 spoons to zone out in front of the TV.
The issue is apparent. Spoons can carry over, and this allows for people to trudge on through the work week, if they’re able to leave a few spoons for the next day. They expect the weekend days off can balance them out. But then they are forced to spend their weekends doing menial things, such as housework and grocery shopping. Do they have spoons to use to spend time with friends and family?
The spoon theory is often used as a way to communicate the challenges of living with a chronic condition to others who may not fully understand the impact it has on daily life. It can help illustrate why seemingly simple tasks or activities that others take for granted may be more difficult or exhausting for someone with a chronic illness or disability.
The "fork theory" for mental illness is a lesser known concept compared to the “spoon theory” for chronic physical illness or pain. There are two explanations of this theory floating around on the internet, but this is the one that resonates with me.
“Stick a fork in me, I’m done”
Forks represent triggers or stressors that exacerbate symptoms of mental illness or contribute to episodes of distress. Forks symbolize external factors or internal struggles that depletes a person’s emotional or psychological resources. Similar to how certain activities or tasks can consume spoons in the spoon theory, specific triggers or stressors can deplete a person's emotional resilience or coping mechanisms in the fork theory. These triggers could include events, environments, relationships, or internal thoughts and emotions that provoke anxiety, depression, or other symptoms of mental illness.
How many forks can you be stuck with before you lose your shit? These are constant irritants, digging into your skin, and maybe sometimes you can learn to ignore or overlook some of them. The forks come in different sizes. A fork representing being thirsty or needing to pee will be small, but it’s a whole pitchfork shoved into your skin when you lose a loved one is less than ideal.
You can switch out forks. You can’t easily get rid of grief, but if you have emotional support during the process, maybe that fork becomes smaller or more easily manageable. You can avoid the fork of anxiety with alcohol, but that’ll cause you a fatigue fork tomorrow. On the other hand, there are minor forks you can remove quite easily. If socializing is stabbing you with forks, avoid people. Of course, that can cause the fork of loneliness to manifest, but that’s a problem for tomorrow you. Today you is responsible for making it through the day.
While the "fork theory" is not a widely recognized concept, it offers a conceptual framework for understanding the challenges faced by individuals living with mental illness and highlights the importance of support, self-care, and empathy in managing mental health.
Why is this on a massage website? Because, it is my honest belief that most people push themselves too hard. They adapt to that level of stress and tension and pain and do what they need to do to get to the next day. Massage has been life-changing to me. For managing a major back injury and stress-induced headaches. Massage can help build up your daily spoon inventory. Massage can help make some forks smaller. It takes time and investment in yourself, but what is life worth without a more comfortable day to day experience?
